Introducing Rubella Pymley-Bowles from Ostentatious PR…

September 13, 2009

Re-posting this following an incredibly-pointless media call from a London-based PR fluffy…

First things first!

PR people – when you are in the process of ringing editors to check and see if they received the press release you emailed 12 days ago (how painfully annoying is it when they ring up chirpy, gormless, and completely unaware that their head is firmly stuck up their own arse?!) – ask this simple question FIRST:

“Hi, is this a good time to talk – are you on Deadline?”

Rather than launch into a micro-pitch about the benefits of your Client’s latest widget-thing to the readership of my magazine…you will win SO many more brownie points if you demonstrate a bit of understanding of how a typical Newsroom works.

Typical PR conversation:

PR: “Hi is that the editor?”

Editor: “Yes.”

PR: “GGGRRRRRRRREAT. Hiyaaaaaaaaa, this is Rubella Pymley-Bowles from Ostentatious PR. We are representing the client More Widgets Limited, and I emailed over a press release 12 days ago about their latest widget, which is being launched exclusively in a remote part of the country tomorrow. Was the press release of interest?”

Editor: “I get 250 emails a day from PRs.”

PR: “RIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGHT. Busy then? Gosh! (pauses on phone) So…did you read the press release?”

Editor: “And it was sent 12 days ago?”

PR: “Yah. I thought it would make a lovely News story for your readers.”

Editor: “All our News stories for that magazine are picture stories. You didn’t send any images. Have you ever read the magazine?”

PR: “Sure, sure, sure. So, shall I re-send it today with a Client company logo?”

Editor: “Company logos are not appropriate images for a News story, unless the story is a re-brand. Have you read the magazine News section before?”

PR: “Yah. I can re-send the press release right now with a company logo.”

Editor: “I am not sure you are understanding me. You need to send relevant images at 300dpi resolution – no logos thanks.”

PR: “I think there was an image with the original press release – can you check?”

Editor: “Not right now. As I said, I get 250 emails per day. And I am on deadline now.”

PR: ” Sure, sure, sure. I will re-send the press release today with an image and call you to check you have received it then – is that ok?”

Editor: “Which email address do you have for editorial here?”

PR: “I don’t have that information to hand.”

Editor: …confirms email address…

PR: “GREEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAT, I’ll email and call you later then.”

Editor: “It would be more useful if you simply email the information. Again. With an appropriate image. At 300dpi resolution. As I have already mentioned.”

PR: “Sure, sure, sure. My account director asked me to check if you had the client information.”

Editor: “Wonderful. Does the account director read the magazine?”

PR: “Yah.”

Editor: “Excellent. So this conversation, in reality, should never have happened then. Had you been fully and properly briefed. Or even better, if you had read the magazine before randomly picking up the phone.”

PR: “Sure, sure, sure. I’ll re-send the information and call you later in the week.”

Editor: ” Just the email will be fine. I don’t need a follow-up call from you to confirm that I have received your re-emailed information. As I mentioned, I get 250 emails a day from PRs, and would rather not get multiple emails covering the same stories from PRs. Thanks.”

PR: “Ahhhhhhhhhhh, sure, sure, sure.”

Editor: “Thanks Rubella. Goodbye.” (puts down phone before PR continues to waffle and returns to deadline, muttering a select choice of expletives including fuckstick, arse and muppet).

Any PRs who consistently ask an editor if they are on deadline BEFORE a random pitch win my vote.


10 Responses to “Introducing Rubella Pymley-Bowles from Ostentatious PR…”

  1. […] what a traditional PR looks like? Check out Rubella Pymley-Bowles from Ostentacious PR for a few clues. […]

  2. Brilliant – are you listening in to my phone calls?!!!

    What gets me is that so many really good people are losing their jobs – yet the Fluffy Bunnies still keep theirs – or is it because they have other attributes?

    I edit a medical cancer website called Having Fun After Cancer – yet they keep on sending me info on goji berries or crystal therapies, “guaranteed to prevent cancer”.

    Or for the website which again has a medical basis, they insist on telling me all about long haul flights to far away places guaranteed to induce blood clots in most patients recovering from an operation.

    If only they would fly away …………….


    • bristoleditor said

      Thanks Verite

      Pleased you can identify! Rubella is everywhere, it appears. I had an email trail from a PR recently, who actually messaged me to tell me to ‘delete the press release and get over it’ because I had complained it was totally irrelevant to my audience. Incredible. Shall I name this obnoxious PR? Not here, but a separate blog post is coming about it soon. Appreciated your inputs.

  3. […] 19, 2010 OK, for the likes of Rubella Pymley-Bowles, the hapless account executive from Ostentacious PR, here’s a media relations masterclass […]

  4. […] was kind enough to forward it on – looks as if it could have been delivered by the hapless Rubella Pymley-Bowles, incumbent account executive at Ostentacious PR. Complete and utter PR fluff, and totally […]

  5. […] make a few PRs break into a cold sweat. After all, if more Press go direct to source instead of via Rubella Pymley-Bowles at Ostentacious PR, the average business could well enjoy greater media spotlight without spending […]

  6. […] to my introduction of the staggeringly-awful PR bimbo Rubella Pymley-Bowles from Ostentatious PR in this post, I am calling to you all to highlight further examples of shocking PR, to help educate the […]

  7. […] June 23, 2010 shanecroucher Leave a comment Go to comments I got an email from one of those double-barrelled named PR types earlier. Obviously there was the usual uninteresting gumpf about the nobody musicians they […]

  8. Adela Stanley said

    Then there are Rubella’s cousins who are given a lovely brief to carry out PR for – let’s say – a glamorous hotel opening. They fawn over the national media, but totally neglect journos who write for niche markets (they would ask “what is a niche market?”).

    Anyone who reads Sunday Times might have seen AA Gill’s wonderful story about three weeks ago, totally blasting a restaurant in one Fluffy Bunny’s new hotel – he really put the hotel/fluffy bunny down – and I hear via grape-vine that hotel chain are not too happy.

    Sometimes it is worth waiting – but I bet Fluffy Bunny manages to save her job and lives to annoy us again.

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